When a man and a woman love each other very much, her happy pink ghost has grapes. Pretty sure this is how many right-wingers understand reproduction

By the way…I’m a hooker who is planning on having 400 abortions. There, I’ve outed myself. Whew! It feels good to get that off my chest. Or out of my womb. Or something.

Because you see, I rely on Planned Parenthood currently for reproductive services and have done so, off and on, for the past few years. And that’s the only kind of woman who would do such a thing.

There is no other reason that a normal, healthy person would need Planned Parenthood on a regular basis for something other than abortion, which can be seen in the other 97% of the pie chart on the left below. No sirree bob. None at all.

You can listen to the recording of Glenn Beck at the above link, but I wouldn’t recommend it as it might inspire spewing of your last meal. I don’t watch or listen to Beck normally and my opportunity to do so has decreased significantly now that his show on Fox has been canceled, but he does still have a nationally syndicated radio show that runs for three hours daily, which is what that clip is from. Three hours a day is a lot of time to dispense complete bullshit, so it’s really not surprising that gems like this should come out of his mouth on a regular basis..accompanied, of course, by mockery of people like Lawrence O’Donnell for thinking about the effect that budget cuts for Planned Parenthood would have for women he knows who depend on it.

I can’t be one of those people who regularly dissect the nonsense of Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and Bill O’Reilly, because it almost literally pains me to listen to it. There’s something inside me that shrivels up and dies when I hear them, and it seems to be directly tied to the sensation I get when witnessing someone embarrassing or hurting himself. It’s really not pleasant. So if it’s ever important to know what they have to say (which is itself in doubt), I generally rely on transcripts. It’s just that with the quote above, I genuinely could not believe that Glenn Beck said those words without hearing them for myself. Beck is the guy who rambles on about conspiracies and imminent Armageddon. Limbaugh is the guy who says nasty things about women. That’s what I thought, anyway, but apparently I was wrong– that, or Beck’s branching out. Lucky us!

Between Beck and that guy on Fox and Friends who thinks you can get a pap smear at Walgreens, I sometimes wonder if the loudest conservative men have ever even met a woman.  Because honestly, they have this disturbing tendency of speaking about us as if we’re something they have only read of a children’s book.