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I’m honestly exhausted from trying to talk to people who take Grace’s account at face value, but still see nothing wrong with what Ansari is described as having done, for whatever reason– she didn’t leave fast enough, she didn’t say no loudly or frequently enough, she didn’t do this or didn’t do that. All of the focus seems to be on blaming her for being insufficiently assertive in preventing his actions, when (presumably) he’s the one, and the only one, ultimately responsible for his own actions. And his actions were not okay. I can’t see any reason why that shouldn’t be part of the broader discussion of what consent means in a sexual context.

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