Wishing I’d stop blogging about Chick-fil-A? Yeah, so am I. But you see, the ridiculousness just keeps on coming, and I can’t help but remark on it. Two items today, neither of which is remotely surprising, but each is actually rather fascinating in its predictability. Let me show you what I mean:
Item #1: Conservative Christian politician labels criticism of contributions to a bigoted cause “attacks,” asks people to stand up for God by helping the bigots out.
A new Chick-fil-A franchise opened up recently near me. They built a two-lane drive-through with ample room for long lines of cars, but additional security was still necessary in the first week or so they were open, and every day (except Sunday, of course) those long lines continue to form for lunch, dinner, and yes, breakfast too. They don’t seem to be hurting for business at all, but former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee is nevertheless concerned that Chick-fil-A might be hurting financially from the relentless horrible bullying of people expressing their displeasure about Chick-fil-A’s ownership donating millions of dollars to anti-gay-rights causes. So by golly Mike Huckabee is doing something about it, and that “something” is declaring that Wednesday August 1st should be a day of appreciation for Chick-fil-A, when everyone who wants to “affirm a business that operates on Christian principles” will get themselves a chicken sandwich and waffle fries for Jesus. Thus far, Huckabee’s Facebook campaign for this purpose has attracted more than 38,000 people who forgot that their savior condemned divorce but said nothing about homosexuality followers.
Item #2: Self-proclaimed “irreverent raconteur,” forgetting that he has roughly half the intellect and none of the wit of H.L. Mencken, non-ironically condemns those who have “attacked” Chick-fil-A (by refusing to dine there for ethical reasons) while at the same time maintaining that his own reasons for choosing to eat there are beyond reproach.
Requisite caveat: It is entirely possible that this guy is a Poe. I am forced to conclude that the column is legitimate since it didn’t appear in The Onion or Landover Baptist but an actual community blog section for The Washington Times, but it’s…well, honestly hard to believe. Let me give you some examples:
When I decide to buy something I have only one criterion: Is it the best quality at the best price to satisfy my needs or desires? I do not believe in social compacts, social responsibility, or any other idiotic political mumbo jumbo. I only believe in getting the best product or service at the lowest price. . . I only care about getting a tasty meal fast. That is all that counts. My wants and needs trump social-moral-economic-political-justice equine excrement every single time. . . He just believes that marriage is defined as a partnership between a man and a woman. For that he must be tarred, feathered, and lynched. To the lynch mobs and exploding heads, his belief about marriage is an egregious, heinous crime. Expression of beliefs that run counter to the lynch mob is not to be allowed. The spiteful screechers and scribblers came out with the usual false accusations of hatred and homophobia – whatever that is.
And it goes on, and on, and on like that.
I don’t know if I’ve ever seen such a spectacular display of someone declaring that he doesn’t give the tiniest shit about anyone else while simultaneously claiming that their slightest objection to anything he considers important amounts to…well, you saw it. A lynch mob. People who boycott an eatery because they dislike the political contributions of its owners are just like a group of rabid racists who torture and kill people for being the “wrong” color. In other words, people who object to bigotry are just like bigots themselves.
What?
Leaving aside the immediate concern of why a person who professes to not even know what homophobia is should be heeded when making proclamations about when boycotts in response to it are or aren’t legitimate…you can understand my confusion and refusal to take this seriously. Social responsibility is “idiotic political mumbo jumbo.” Social justice is “equine excrement.” Bigotry against homosexuals is apparently not even comprehensible as a concept. Poe, American from 1954 or modern day Saudi Arabian? Your guess is as good as mine, but suffice to say…do not want.
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