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Posts authored by Gretchen

Weekend web readin’

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From Roger Ebert’s Journal at the Chicago Sun-Times, Hey kids! Anybody here not heard the F-word?

Money quote:

If a director wants to make a film against bullying, it is not for a committee of MPAA bean-counters to tell him what words he can use. Not many years ago, the word rape was not used in newspapers, on television–or in the movies, for that matter. But there is a crime, and the name of the crime is rape, and if you remove the word you help make the crime invisible. This is yet another example of the MPAA sidestepping ethical judgments by falling back on the technicalities of its guidelines. It is even more insidious because the MPAA never clearly spells out its guidelines, leaving it to filmmakers to guess–although they often judge by past experience. It seems to me that either the f-word word is permissible, or it is not. If impermissible, nobody should use it at all in a PG-13 film. If permissible, nobody should count. Is it a magic word, a totemistic expression that dare not say its own name? Is it a vulgar equivalent of such a word as G-d?

From Bloomberg View, Fight Birth-Control Battle Over the Counter: Virginia Postrel

Money quote:

Unlike most medications, the article noted, birth-control pills require no medical diagnosis: “A woman herself determines her need for oral contraception; she assesses her own risk of pregnancy … and the costs and benefits of both pregnancy and alternative contraceptions.” Nearly two decades later, birth- control pills look even safer than they did then, and recent research indicates that women are both able and eager to manage their own purchase decisions. Requiring a prescription “acts more as a barrier to access rather than providing medically necessary supervision,” argues Daniel Grossman of Ibis Reproductive Health, a research and advocacy group based in Massachusetts, in an article published in September in Expert Review of Obstetrics & Gynecology. Birth-control pills can have side effects, of course, but so can such over-the-counter drugs as antihistamines, ibuprofen or the Aleve that once turned me into a scary, hive-covered monster. That’s why even the most common over-the-counter drugs, including aspirin, carry warning labels. Most women aren’t at risk from oral contraceptives, however, just as most patients aren’t at risk from aspirin or Benadryl, and studies suggest that a patient checklist can catch most potential problems.

From the LaCrosse Tribune, Iowa high school assembly stirs protest

Money quote:

DUNKERTON, Iowa — Administrators, teachers and students did not get what they expected Thursday during an extended school program. Everyone anticipated the message from Junkyard Prophet, a traveling band based in Minnesota, to be about bullying and making good choices. Instead, junior and senior high students at Dunkerton High School and faculty members said they were assaulted by the group’s extreme opinions on homosexuality and images of aborted fetuses. “They told my daughter, the girls, that they were going to have mud on their wedding dresses if they weren’t virgins,” said Jennifer Littlefield, a parent upset with the band’s performance.
Her daughter, Alivia Littlefield, 16, is a junior, and called Littlefield after the event. “I couldn’t even understand her, she was crying so hard,” Littlefield said. Littlefield also did not appreciate what she described as gay bashing. “They told these kids that anyone who was gay was going to die at the age of 42,” she said. “It just blows me away that no one stopped this.”

From Addicting Info, Fox News: There Is Definitely A ‘War on Women Voters’

Money quote:

When the propaganda arm of the Republican party admits that there is a war on women voters, it’s time to accept that the recent attacks on women’s rights are not coincidental, that they are, in fact, an orchestrated political strategy. Sally Kohn of Fox News writes,

While women voters might rather focus on jobs and the economy, watching Republicans jeopardize women’s health and reproductive freedom while slandering those who try and stand in their way is enough to make women demand not only good jobs and fair pay but political leaders who respect the liberty and rights of women in America. 

President Obama’s campaign may be paying for fliers and advertisements to attract women voters, but in this regard, Republicans are giving him the kind of help that money can’t buy.

Now, to be fair, Kohn does seem to be a token liberal. She’s openly gay and was hired as part of Fox’s new “kinder, gentler” approach. And of course, Kohn doesn’t speak for the talking heads at Fox News. Bill O’Reilly, for example, denies that there is a war on women, going as far as to say, “It’s not about women,” much to the dismay of even one of his own correspondents. According to O’Reilly and his radio counterpart, Rush Limbaugh, the war on women isn’t because of Republican actions, it’s a Democratic conspiracy.

Also…..this ain’t readin’, but it’s definitely worth watching (or, okay, watchin’):

Fun with word clouds

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Upon discovering wordle.net, I decided to make a couple of word clouds. First, for my CV and dissertation (both of which which can be viewed by clicking the tab above, or here). And then another for this blog, which apparently only captured words from this front page. Very fun.

Misconceptions on contraception

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Do you know how this stuff works?

This ongoing battle over the significance of contraception has come as quite a shock to those of us for whom it has been a normal, completely non-controversial part of life for so long. But perhaps it shouldn’t be. Attacks on its importance have come in large part from people who don’t know how contraception works, and that number will surely increase if measures like Utah’s push to ban instruction on birth control, homosexuality, and any kind of extra-marital sex in public schools succeed and proliferate. What’s especially worrisome is not just that Americans are stunningly ignorant of the varieties of contraception, their function, and their effectiveness, but that they aren’t aware of their own ignorance:

Jenna had been living with her boyfriend for several months when he floated his own contraceptive theory. Jenna was taking her birth control pills continuously, meaning that she was skipping the pack’s built-in placebo pills in order to stop her period. At some point, her boyfriend discovered how she had managed to avoid the monthly ritual. “I was thinking you were just magical, like a unicorn,” he told her. “I mean, you hope one exists somewhere, but you never think you’ll get to live with one…a cool chick with no period drama that has sex all month long.” He added, “The guys thought I was making it up.” (Boyfriends could not be reached for comment for this story).
According to a new study by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, many young American men exhibit attitudes toward contraception that could best be described as “magical.” The study [PDF] surveyed American singles ages 18–29 about their perceptions about and use of contraception. Twenty-eight percent of young men think that wearing two condoms at a time is more effective than just one. Twenty-five percent think that women can prevent pregnancy by douching after sex. Eighteen percent believe that they can reduce the chance of pregnancy by doing it standing up.
For the most part, men lagged behind women on the pregnancy prevention front. And when the study dipped into the realm of “female” forms of birth control, the gender divide intensified. In the study, 29 percent of men and 32 percent of women reported that they know “little or nothing about condoms.” When asked to rate their knowledge of birth control pills, 78 percent of men reported to be clueless, compared to 45 percent of women.

According to that study, most young people (the American singles in that age group) 
a) are sexually active (78% in the past year),
b) believe (94% male, 86% female) that pregnancy should be planned, and
c) say that it’s important (88% male and 86% female) to avoid pregnancy right now.
Nonetheless, 19% no contraception at all and 24% use it inconsistently. 17% of women and 19% admitted that it is quite likely that they will engage in unprotected sex in the next year. 31% of women said that they had had an unplanned pregnancy. 
Why the discrepancy? A combination of ignorance (lack of information) and false belief (misinformation). Because these men and women did not receive sufficient instruction on contraception, they have relied on “folk” knowledge about how it works, which can make contraception seem unreliable at best and actually suspicious and harmful at worst:

Despite the myths, inflated fears, gaps in knowledge and more, nearly
all unmarried young adults say they have the knowledge they need to
avoid an unplanned pregnancy.  • 90% believe (and 66% strongly believe) they have all the knowledge they
need to avoid an unplanned pregnancy. Moreover, many are fatalistic about fertility and pregnancy… • 38% of men and 44% of women believe “it doesn’t matter whether you use
birth control or not; when it is your time to get pregnant it will happen.”
• Hispanics (49%) and non-Hispanic blacks (50%) are more likely than nonHispanic whites (34%) to believe that birth control doesn’t matter much.  …and many are suspicious of the whole birth control enterprise.  • 31% overall (40% of non-Hispanic blacks and Hispanics) agree with the
statement, “the government and public health institutions use poor and
minority people as guinea pigs to try out new birth control methods.”
• 32% overall (44% of non-Hispanic blacks and 46% of Hispanics) agree with
the statement, “the government is trying to limit blacks and other minority
populations by encouraging the use of birth control.”

The study is full of other disturbing statistics, which you should definitely read for yourself. The take-home message, I think, is that young Americans are woefully misinformed about contraception, and even though the study says that only 13% of this group believe it to be morally wrong, misunderstanding how contraception works and how well it works can feed into the creation of beliefs about who needs contraception, and how much, and why. Erroneous beliefs that foster prejudice and, worse, grossly mistaken policy. Like in Arizona, where legislators are trying to make it possible for your employer to know whether you’re using birth control and, if they have a problem with that, fire you for it.

One can’t help but wonder how well they understand birth control. My hunch is: not well at all.  

Working for a cause vs. for yourself

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In discussion about Gloria Allred’s attempt to prosecute Rush Limbaugh at Dispatches, a commenter called Harold observed the following (the first line is a quote from another comment, to which he is responding):

Is Allred trying to give Limbaugh the upper hand in the court of public opinion?

I believe she would not care one way or another.
A group of people exist who attempt to “take over” popular progressive stances and make themselves the “only real” advocates.
In doing so, they consciously or unconsciously value their own ego more than the cause they are ostensibly associated with.
To test for this propensity, simply ask yourself –
1) “If the issue I claim to be motivated by were resolved in the way I claim to want, to the great benefit of those I claim to ‘speak for’, but I received no direct credit or recognition, would I be happy?”
2) “Can the issue ever be resolved to my satisfaction, or will I ‘up the ante’ any time a resolution seems near, even if the resolution gives what I previously seemed to be demanding?”
3) “If people I don’t like for some reason actually support my side of the issue I claim to be motivated by, do I react by angrily trying to ‘disqualify’ them from being ‘true’ supporters, rather than forming common cause with them (on that issue)?”
If the answer to any of these is “yes”, then you are not really exactly an advocate for gender equality, gay rights, animal welfare, or whatever it is. You are actually an egotist, who prefers that the injustice you claim to object to continue, so that you can continue to pose as a crusading martyr. And in this way, you are consciously or unconsciously a strong ally for those you claim to most oppose.

I like it. It’s a test that people who find themselves acting as spokespersons for any movement should probably take for themselves periodically. That is, if they don’t want others applying it for them, later on down the line.

Gloria Allred tries to use slut-shaming law to stop slut-shaming

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The most important thing wrong, to my eyes, with the fact that Gloria Allred is trying to hold Rush Limbaugh criminally responsible for his “slut” remarks is that it elevates him. It gives credence to the claim that his First Amendment rights are being infringed, because if Allred is successful they would be. No supporter of free speech should stand behind that.

But the added bonus of disturbing can be found in he specific legislation Allred wants to use to prosecute him: Section 836.04 of the Florida Statutes, which allows for the criminal prosecution of anyone who “speaks of and concerning any woman, married or unmarried, falsely and maliciously imputing to her a want of chastity.” Jonathan Turley writes:

What is curious about Allred’s embracing of this law is that it is overtly sexist. The law suggests that a woman who is viewed as unchaste is so harmed that she constitutes a crime victim. Chastity is defined by Webster’s as “(a) : abstention from unlawful sexual intercourse; (b) : abstention from all sexual intercourse.” The law is based on the out-dated notion that a woman who has sex before marriage is damaged and subject to social stigma. To put it more colloquially, such a woman was viewed as a “slut or prostitute.” That is precisely the outrageous view voiced by Limbaugh in relation to Fluke and led to a worldwide condemnation. Now, Allred wants him prosecuted under a law that assumes that is based on the same assumption. The law was not designed to prevent women from being called sluts. Laws like Florida’s code provision were designed on the belief that a woman who is unchaste is a slut — and that “good” women should never be accused of sex before marriage. So Allred wants Limbaugh prosecuted for saying Fluke is a slut based on the law that effectively treats unchaste women as sluts. It does not protect men because an unchaste man was viewed under these dated laws as just a normal man. A man was not viewed as harmed or demeaned by being sexually active. Only a woman was harmed by the suggestion of sexual activities. Not also the law only protects women who are “falsely” accused of being unchaste. Thus if a woman has been sexually active before married, she would presumably not be protected under the law.

It’s troublesome enough that so many people who are happy to condemn Limbaugh for his remarks without mentioning that it would be wrong to call Fluke a slut even if she did stand up in front of Congress and testify that she slept with five different men every day. But the law Allred wants to use against Limbaugh buys into the exact same patriarchal, sexist thinking that she seeks to prosecute. In no way does this effort score points for free speech or feminism, and so merits a big thumbs down from this fan of both.

The appropriate response when someone says that Fluke (or anyone) is a slut is not “No she isn’t.” It’s “I’m not going to accept that it’s your business to morally judge her sex life, which is what you just declared by using that word.” It takes longer to say, but it notes something important, something definitely worth noting.

Cultural relativism in gaming

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Here you go:

The specific subject that MovieBob talks about is an incident involving a man named Aris Bakhtanians, who was confronted for publicly verbally sexually harassing a female player who he was coaching in a video game reality show. In brief, Aris defended his actions by saying that sexual harassment is part of the fighting game community, and that if you remove sexual harassment, it is no longer the fighting game community. 

Here’s where MovieBob attains Super Bigot Fighting Hero status. MovieBob doesn’t take (much) time addressing the specific instance for which Bakhtanians was criticized. Instead he opens up a dialogue about the argument itself – its weakness, its lameness. He points out that this excuse is used to justify many forms of racism, sexism and homophobia. He takes to task similar arguments like “It’s just how things are” and “This is the last place that it’s okay to talk like this.”

Pamela Geller is vile

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Previously I knew Pamela Geller as a “creeping Sharia” proponent, the kind of person who makes a living off making Americans as afraid of Muslims as possible to the point of encouraging us to refuse them the rights we would ordinarily recognize as existing for any American; for any human. She is that, but her reaction to the Fluke/Limbaugh matter shows that she is a female misogynist as well, past the ranks of Ann Coulter. There’s a special category of political commentator that should place them beyond consideration by anyone who strives to be rational. This category I called “unhinged,” and Limbaugh and Coulter have dwelt in it for a very long time. Now, Geller makes me wonder if another category is needed for the super extra unhinged, the kind who might need to be institutionalized but instead are treated as a relevant political voice by…well, some. It’s hard to tell how many. 

Exhibit A:

A 30-year-old poses as a 23-year-old, chooses a Catholic University to attend at $65,000 per year, and cannot afford ALL the birth control pills she needs… so she wants the US taxpayers to pay for her rampant sexual activity. By all accounts she is banging it five times a day. She sounds more like a prostitute to me. She must have an gyno bill to choke a horse (pun intended). Calling this whore a slut was a softball.

Exhibit B:

I have had it up to here with Fluke’s vagina. Seriously. Clearly she’s a plant. I don’t have to exalt or honor women who debase and lower themselves to meat status. I will not honor this pig. I will not teach children to debase themselves. I will not teach children that this is “empowerment.” I explain it to young girls this way. Go into any Wal-Mart or Target. There are hundreds of black handbags for sale in bins, hung on display walls, all cheap or moderately priced, and they can’t give them away. Now  go into Hermes. There is one black, gorgeous, impossible to get, crocodile Birkin bag. There are waiting lists for this bag. No one can get that bag. It costs a fortune and still everyone wants that bag.
Be that bag. I despise the women’s movement. I despise what they have done to women (and men). Just look at Fluke. She is a full-fledged activist and an embarrasment [sic] to decent young women. 

Note: Sandra Fluke is not the one who made this about her sex life. Sandra Fluke did not make any mention of her sexual activity, and it wouldn’t matter if she had. In no way did Fluke pretend to be anything other than what she is, and it’s not her fault if conservative commentators made assumptions which proven to be erroneous. And Sandra Fluke is not the one comparing women to merchandise.

Women aren’t an ideological group. We are a biological/cultural one, so there’s no sense in which the behavior of one woman should be considered an embarrassment to the rest of us. But if one should be considered such, it doesn’t seem like Fluke is that woman.

The “what you did” vs. “who you are” distinction matters

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So Rush Limbaugh’s brother David is sticking up for him and complaining that people aren’t accepting Rush’s sincere (yes, that’s how David characterizes it) apology for being a bigoted lout. The apology in which, I would note, Rush further insults those whose pardon he ostensibly seeks by suggesting that his poor behavior amounts to sinking down to their level. The refusal to accept this apology as authentic and satisfactory by liberals, David says, amounts to rank hypocrisy. You can probably guess the basis for that complaint before I even quote him:

What I am observing is the most radical display of hate and intolerance that I’ve witnessed in years. It does not surprise me, but it is ironic that the very people who masquerade as exemplars of tolerance, civility and compassion have no room in their hearts for forgiveness.

The immediate response to this, of course is– radical display of hate and intolerance? Are you talking about your brother’s behavior? No, he is not. He is honestly saying that hateful and intolerant liberals are refusing to accept Rush Limbaugh’s apology because they “want his scalp,” and this is ironic given how much liberals like to talk about tolerance and compassion and stuff.

I would like to meet the liberal– the anyone– who defines tolerance and compassion as being nice to people who act like bigoted assholes for twenty years and then offer a backhanded apology for it once their sponsors start to pull out. No, when liberals advocate for tolerance and compassion, what they’re advocating is for people to stop being vocally bigoted, especially to stop legislating their bigotry. You can be a bigot, but behind closed doors please. Stop pretending that the sight of a gay couple holding hands somehow damages your psyche and grow up. There are still Americans who haven’t yet grown up and accepted the sight of an interracial couple holding hands, but we’re making progress. Tolerance is recognizing that what people are, if they’re consenting adults and aren’t harming anyone, is not your business. Compassion, in this context, means not foisting your private moral disapproval on them by attempting to outlaw what they are, or at least the expression of what they are. Acceptance would be not disapproving in the first place, but people don’t have a lot of control over what they accept. Acceptance is a feeling, and it’s unfair to try and dictate peoples’ feelings.  They can certainly, however, change their behavior.

Back to Rush Limbaugh. People are condemning him because of what he did, which was express bigotry against someone for who she is. Some people are taking the low road and making fun of his weight, yes, but the slams against him are not in general about immutable or semi-immutable traits. When you attack who someone is, you are by extension attacking everyone who shares the relevant trait in common. In calling Sandra Fluke a slut for wanting birth control, Rush called every woman who wants birth control a slut. And “every woman who wants birth control,” in the U.S., is nearly all of us. Birth control is fundamental to womens’ freedom and autonomy. In order to lead successful and independent lives, we need to be able to be sexually active without getting pregnant. That is why the war on birth control is being characterized as a war on women. In supporting it, especially by deeming it appropriate to insult and impugn the moral character of every woman who has used birth control, Rush attacked women for who they are. That is intolerant.

Refusing to be nice to individual people who have behaved abominably, especially intolerantly, is not intolerant. Tolerance has never been about being nice to individuals; it has been about respecting the autonomy and interests of groups. Every time a conservative attempts to conflate these two by whining about those liberals being so hypocritical by being mean to a bigot, a dittohead gets his wings.

Weekend web readin’

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From The Guardian, Wired for Culture by Mark Pagel; Beyond Human Nature by Jesse J Prinz; Together by Richard Sennett – review

Money quote:

Central to his thesis is the fact that humans do not co-operate mindlessly, unlike other creatures that establish elaborate societies, such as ants and termites. In these cases, the role of the individual is suborned totally to the greater good of the nest or hive. Humans are still capable of expressing great individuality within a society. So think of our role in society as more like that of a venture capitalist who is trying to invest money, says Pagel. We seek out individuals with whom we can form the best alliances needed to set up friendships and businesses. The rewards are bountiful and can be seen in all the glories of modern civilisation, though we have to take care. This process only works if we select good candidates for co-operation and are selected, in turn, by others. To make sure this happens, says Pagel, we need to have good reputations. “Reputations act as the currency we use to buy trust and co-operation,” he states. Thus we hold open doors, stand aside for others, help the elderly, give to charity and even risk our lives to save animals. It is all done to build up our own reputations so that others will seek us out and co-operate with us. But sometimes, says Pagel, it all goes a little bit too far and reputations are elevated to an almost religious status. They are considered to be heritable and are reckoned to run in families. As a result, those who are thought to be endangering a family’s reputation are attacked by their close relatives. The result is an honour killing. Seen from this perspective, the act is a co-operative one taken to a grotesque, overzealous level. “A reputation acquires the worth of a human life,” as Pagel puts it.

From TV By the Numbers, Syfy Original Series ‘Monster Man’ Will Showcase Hollywood Creature-Making Family Beginning Wednesday, March 14

Money quote:

Syfy will premiere its latest original docuseries Monster Man on Wednesday, March 14 at 11PM (ET/PT), immediately following the second season finale of Face Off at 10 PM (ET/PT). Monster Man will return to its regular timeslot, Wednesdays at 10 PM (ET/PT), the following week on March 21. Monster Man goes behind the scenes of one of Hollywood’s most respected practical effects workshops. For more than thirty years, when studios want a bizarre creature or out-of-this world alien, they turn to Cleve Hall and the team at SOTA FX. Only the horrifying monsters they build match the craziness of this extremely talented family. 

From Digital Life on Today, The “lost” cell phone project, and the dark things it says about us

Money quote:

At 6:30 a.m., the finder opened the calendar, private pix, social networking, online banking, HR salaries, remote admin, corporate e-mail and passwords. For the rest of the day, there was near continuous rummaging through the phone, including the eventual launch of File Manager to see the entire phone’s contents.  “It’s relentless. He can’t get into online banking so he goes back to the file that has passwords in it, checks the passwords again and tries again,” Haley said. “He tries to log in remotely to the computer, can’t get on so he goes to password to get the password and tries again.” By nightfall, activity on the phone stopped, and it remained relative dormant until it was moved to New York City’s Chinatown area at 5:35 a.m. Feb. 9 — one week after it was lost — and wiped clean, probably for sale on the black market.

From Dispatches From the Culture Wars,  Badass Quote of the Day

Money quote….okay, only quote:

‎”Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of leaders and millions have been killed because of this obedience. Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty, starvation, stupidity, war and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves and the grand thieves are running the country. That’s our problem.” — Howard Zinn.

What Rush hath wrought

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On the Daily Show clip in my previous post, Jon Stewart begins (after introducing the show) by noting that Rush Limbaugh’s profession is to be a loathsome human being. It’s just a matter of fact– he’s good at it, and has done it for over two decades with considerable success. But it’s easy to forget that there are people who think otherwise. People who actually take him seriously. People who think that he has things of value to say. People who pass such messages on to their children. Who then pass them on to other children.

A Daily Kos member going by the name “beantown mom” posted an account entitled “I’ve spent the past two days trying to convince my 16 y/o she is not a slut.” Long story short: her daughter had to go on hormonal birth control due to menorrhagia and secondary dysmenorrhea. Her daughter then went to a five day camp for band members, during which any prescription medicine had to be kept by supervisors and distributed at the beginning of each day to those who required it. Pretty standard procedure, right? Here’s what happened next:

Thursday, my daughter came home from school and seemed to be a little out of sorts. I chalked it up to being tired and trying to get caught up on homework and such; however, I did ask her if everything was alright and she said yes, she thought so- it was just that at lunch there were some girls whispering and pointing at her in lunch and then they would break out into little fits of laughter. She couldn’t figure out why they were singling her out but admitted that a couple of the girls were ones she had once had a problem with. They were the “popular” girls, 2 of whom were cheerleaders, and last year they had singled her out calling her names and such when they got bored and, in my daughter’s words, “ran out of girls to harass and make fun of in lunch”. I gave it no further consideration- we went on about our business of getting homework done, etc. Friday morning, I took my kids to school and headed off to my mother’s to do some errands and such for my family. With the impending storms and bad weather bearing down on us, I sent my daughter a text that I would pick her up from school. My son had baseball so I only had to worry about her getting home. I pulled into the parking lot and saw that she was standing inside the doors at school, her head down and shoulders shaking- I thought she was laughing at something someone said or was looking at her phone reading something funny. I honked and waived [sic] to motion her out, not sure if she saw me. She never looked up, just pushed open the door and practically ran to the car. She flung open the door and I started to say something about the wind and rain, but stopped mid sentence because of the look on my child’s face! She was sobbing, face streaked with tears, cheeks red and eyes so swollen I could hardly see her beautiful brown eyes- I slammed the car into park right in the middle of the parking lot and asked her what was wrong.

Apparently I’m a slut- a whore- a bitch who is screwing every guy in school! 

She was speaking but it wasn’t making sense- who said this? What are you talking about? For a minute we were talking over each other and finally I said just get in the car and tell me what is going on! She handed me a wrinkled piece of paper. I could tell it had been opened and closed, folded and unfolded wadded up and straightened out so many times it almost looked like it was going to fall apart in my hands. 

Little miss innocent, huh? Whatever slut- you take birth control pills so you can f*&# every guy in school! What a joke- u are nothin but a whore! Pretty bad when some guy on the radio who isn’t afraid to tell the truth has to break it down for everybody- if u on the Pill u are nothing but a skank ass ho! My mom said girls on the pill are tramps who just wanna get laid and don’t care about nothin- is that how u are?

I thought I was going to throw up! I was crying- crying for my sweet daughter who was in a puddle on the front seat of my car, crying because I was so angry I didn’t know what to do first! I drove home with one arm around my daughter and one hand on the wheel; I was saying things but for the life of me I can’t remember any of what I said now. I just wanted to take the pain away from my child! I wanted to make her stop crying, wanted to erase all the horrible pain that she was feeling.

I read about this at Pandagon, where Amanda Marcotte has a pointed and optimistic essay about the ridiculous effort to portray the vast majority of American women as somehow shameful because they have or will rely on birth control at some point in their lives. That group which, statistically speaking, almost certainly includes both the bully who wrote the note above and her mother. Amanda describes such shaming as “backsliding” in a culture where hormonal birth control has been a realistic option for three generations:

These kinds of attacks on individual women—in this case, a 16-year-old girl in high school—are only effective in an environment where the bullies can imply that using contraception and/or being sexually active is deviant. The idea is to isolate the victim, make them feel weird and different, and terrify them for it. But when you have the President in the White House talking about contraception as a normal part of health care for pretty much all women, it becomes clear that being sexually active and using contraception is the national norm, as wholesome and American as apple pie. The high levels of support for the HHS mandate suggests that most Americans are already there. This panic reaction is the last gasp of the old order trying to turn back the clock, to a time where it was scandalous for people to live together without being married, to when women who have sex with their boyfriends worry about their reputation, and when contraception was seen as embarrassing, and so some people tried their luck without getting any, and usually failed.  The thing is, as this example above shows, backsliding is possible. (If anyone in my high school was bullied for using contraception, I don’t remember it.) Which is why it’s more important than ever to talk about sex, and specifically how normal it is, how universal it is, what the benefits are, and to shame anyone who would say otherwise. We have the numbers on our side. We just need the courage. Remember, the people who think there’s something bad about women just because they fuck are the weirdoes [sic] here. Don’t be afraid to really believe that and act on it. 

Hear, hear. The word that keeps coming up for me is “irrelevant.” Birth control is normal, uncontroversial, and necessary for men and women, married and unmarried, with children or without, young and old. People who try to pretend otherwise in the name of sexual propriety and are attempting to use this issue as a means to shame American women in general (and specifically) are badly out of touch, have nothing of value to say on this vital topic, and have shown themselves to be truly…irrelevant.

If you still need some levity after the above (I sure do), check out the Mother Jones “Are You A Slut” flow chart. It’s ridiculous in its accuracy and accurate in its ridiculousness.